Background in Regards to Religion

I wasn't raised going to church every Sunday even though my mother professed a strong fear of God and did a good job of instilling that in me. She, however, lived a very promiscuous life. To her credit, she didn't really swear and never drank, but she did smoke until I was a junior in high school. She was very secretive of her relations with men accept when a couple lived with us. It wasn't until I was older did I learn some things about her sex life. I went to church steadily for a brief time when she was married for a short while. It was a small church and I enjoyed it. All other times I went to church growing up I attended with my best friend. It was always a church similar in beliefs to that of the Assemblies of God.

I, for whatever reason, always wanted to belong to a church. In hindsight, I think it was mostly because I rarely got to do things growing up. My mother and I were it. My father next to never paid support so we were really close to poor. Now to be fair, I had a decent,  albeit small, house. It was very clean. I always had clothes and food, but as far as material things and vacations - nothing! It wasn't until I was 11 and was working two jobs - one as a babysitter during the summer and the other a paper route that I could buy my own stuff. Things like CDs, cool shoes, money for the mall, etc. Still, I felt like I got to rarely do neat things. There was no instrument lessons, no summer camps, no leaving the state for any reason - at least with my family. It is for these reasons I believe I was very open to church. The feeling of belonging to something or a family. A family I never had. 

Fast forward to my sophomore year. I began to like a girl. Once we started going out her church came up a lot because she was unable to do a lot of things because of having to go to church. But she was reluctant to talk about it. She was almost ashamed of it or rather embarrassed by it. I told her that she shouldn't be and I would love to go with her someday. Finally, she reluctantly agreed. I believe she was reluctant for several reasons. Her church is the Church of Christ. If you know anything about the Church of Christ - at least conservative Churches of Christ - it is a hard church for people to accept. They are of the New Testament - the old testament is BASICALLY for history purposes and illustrating the character of God, but we are not bound by it's laws - not even the ten commandments. Now when some of the 10 commandments were restated in the new testament indeed we are then responsible to adhere to them. Also another big one for people to initially wrap their minds around is the church is non-instrumental. When you are a teenager, and your church is this different it is hard to think of a fellow high schooler accepting it, but I did. It took a while, but eventually I was baptized - another difficult thing for people. You are not "saved" or forgiven of sins until you are FULLY immersed in water. 

A couple years later, she and I broke up. I started dating another girl and she was baptized as well. I brought in two friends as well who were baptized. One completely fell away, the other (the one I mentioned earlier who used to take me to the Assemblies of God) still attends, but is a very weak christian. I have completely fallen away. I haven't attended in nearly 13 years. There are a few reasons for this and I will get to them later. This post is already quite lengthy.